Nakey Nakey

So this was something I was going to post in December but got lazy and didn't finish so I've finished and I'll update in my next post.

December:          

Well today I came into work expecting to have to teach 40 middle schoolers only to discover they are coming next week. So that means I get to go home, right?! No such luck, instead I've pretty much wasted 6 hours screwing around on the Internet and I have another hour or so to go, so I figured I'd blog a little about Korea.

The job isn't so bad. The only thing that absolutely drives me bonkers is how they leave things here till the last minute. Trying to pin them down on exact schedules and details about vacation is nearly impossible because they keep saying they don't know. But otherwise its pretty simple. Different groups of students come in for either a 2 to 3 day program where they have classes like cooking, airplane, hospital, hotel, etc and then they go back to their regular schools and classes (where they do have English classes). So I basically only have to see the kids once or maybe twice a year. I also teach the same classes over and over again. Some days when I teach airplane 4 times in a row I want to kill myself, but its an easy job.

Adjusting to living for the weekend and having to show up on time every morning every m-f kinda sucks, but it was inevitable. I can no longer use l'heure African as an excuse, explaining that I had to stop and greet some people along my way.

But anyways my schedule goes something like this: I wake up, go to school, come home, go swimming at the gym, and then go to hapkido lessons.

Lets talk about swimming at the gym. Now for those of you who know me I am not athletically inclined, so my experience with gyms in the US is fairly limited. But in my quest for a black belt in Hapkido in a year I've decided I'm gonna need to work to really get in shape and develop some upper body strength. Initially I decided I'd try jogging but since I really dont care for jogging and it started icing over at night it became too dangerous to jog in the mornings without risking some kind of fall in which I'm sure I'd break something. So when I heard there was a gym with a pool I decided to sign up and start swimming.

Going back to the whole being a Hoke therefore not really athletic thing I haven't really experienced that many gyms in the States so I could be wrong on this issue, however, in my limited experience when it comes to the girls' locker room stalls have always been available to both shower and change in. Now sometimes there are open showers and you have to wait longer for a stall but that has always been something I've been happy to wait for. I don't believe in public nudity or group showering. I think showering is personal grooming time and therefore should be private. I also just don't care for naked people.

Even after all my time in West Africa I never came to a comfortable place with nudity. But here due to saunas and group bathing I guess they're cool with it, and I applaud that. If you're comfortable with naked people good for you, I just think there should be options for those of us who are not.

So I arrive at the gym and go into the locker room and there it is: women just walking around without any clothes. The other problem is that here towels are about the size of hand towels so they're pretty much useless for covering anything. My first impulse is to just back out of the room and pretend that I was never there, but I decide that I've got to face it, so I just try to ignore everyone.

Initially it seems as though my plan is working.  No one talks to me when I arrive and I had smartly already worn my swimsuit to the gym so I don't have to disrobe completely in front of everyone.  So I head off to the pool and its crowded but I've made it this far and faced down old naked women, I just decide to jump in the least crowded lane.

Now early in the mornings I've found the pool doesn't seem to really be for swimming.  Instead its apparently the hot spot for socializing.  I take a lane and the women in it will swim a lap, stop for 15 minutes and just chat and then swim again.  

So I do my laps and get out of the pool and head for the showers.  Its the moment of truth, the moment I knew I had to face once I saw a locker room full of naked women, but I have no choice.  So I try to strategically pick a time which I think the least number of people will be in the showers but it wont matter.  

So I'm showering just trying to block it all out and this old woman comes up to me stark naked and starts saying something in Korean.  I shrug my shoulders and start praying silently she'll go away.  But it only gets worse, she begins to play a game of charades.  It seems as though she feels I might not know how to shower or wash myself and she starts to demonstrate and make washing gestures and really focuses on the crotch.  Maybe she thinks white people don't know we should wash there?  I don't know, but I figure at this point it can't get much worse.

But it does.  Some woman who speaks broken English joins in and trys and translate but either the old woman is crazy or the lady isn't the best translater because it doesn't make any sense what is being said.  So I just say thanks and turn my back hoping they'll get the message.  Eventually the old lady leaves and I try and hurry through my shower.  Then grab my itty bitty towel and try to walk discreetly towards my locker.  

I arrive at my locker with salvation in sight.  There my clothes are nicely waiting for me to put on and then all will be right in the world again.  So as I begin to dress the translator comes up to me stark naked and starts asking me where I live, whats my specific address, and can we be English speaking friends?  

It doesn't seem to phase her that she is completely naked and I'm just trying to find some sort of focal point in the room that is as far away from any possible naked people.  I just keep combing my hair waiting for an opening to bolt towards the door.

Once I'm able to wrap up the conversation I put on my headphones, turn on my music, and run out the door trying to forget the horror of the no-stall locker room.

If only they made water proof ipods or something.  Sure it doesn't seem like a good idea to have something electronic hooked into your ear when you're submerged in a body of water, but the idea of risking death or something from electric shock seems like a reasonable one to take if it means I can better tune out the naked people.

The problem is my foreigness.  It attracts attention and 'help' that I don't really want.  There should be some sort of rule in life.  It should be a universal rule and that rule should be that when with strangers and everyone is naked no one should speak to anyone until all parties are dressed. 

So thats my life: work, tv, hapkido, and gym nudity.