So I know this update is a long time coming but my job has kept me pretty busy. I have to say that through it all Chingu has been an absolute trooper. He handled the drive here beautifully, and doesn't even bark when he's left in his room.
I was a little concerned about the house that we rented that my landlord might come into my home unannounced when I wasn't present so I've kept to confining him to the front bedroom and he stays in there during the day and roams the house in the evenings.
So far I can't say we've made "progress" in our training because our training has essentially stopped. I have been unable to find a trainer who is willing to work with an aggressive dog and since its just me and him there hasn't been any reason to attempt to get him to accept anyone else. He still does really well on walks when passing other on leash dogs, of course if they're off leash thats another story.
Dealing with all the off leash dogs here has been difficult but we've been able to find ways around it. And Chingu has started to really take to the yard. At first he would just sniff for about 10 minutes and then look at me and be like, "now what?" but he always rushes right to the back door when we get home for walks now. I've also taught him how to play fetch which is a lot of fun. He still will generally only do it if treats are involved but thats OK.
I did think we'd have to move again but my landlord said they'd fence in the chain link portion of the fence with a taller wood fence so Chingu can have a doggy door! I'm super excited about this and greatly relieved since sometimes my job will require 14 -16 hour days and I'll just feel better knowing he'll have the freedom to use the bathroom if he needs it.
I think the Prozac has really helped us and we've been lucky and found a nice vet. We did go back to CO and visit in October and Chingu participated in a group class and did great so he hasn't completely lost all his training, although I do worry about the loss of socialization for him. But I think overall he's very happy and by being on our own and him having a big yard this really adds some flexibility for me and allows him to hang out and not be bothered by others. Its just nice to see him relax.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Warm Winds Blowing, Heating Blue Skies, and A Road That Goes Forever...
Sorry for the long wait on an update but things just got crazy after the bite. So we contacted an animal communicator and I have to say it was an incredibly positive experience for me. I know some people think its a lot of voodoo mumbo jumbo and I was once one of those people too, but I have to say things have only gotten better since then. In addition she knew things she couldn't have possibly known unless she'd "spoken" with Chingu, it was spooky.
So anyways she basically just confirmed all the things the vet said (she had all this info typed out and knew nothing about the vet visit) and while Chingu is resistant to the idea of being an old man he's not resistant to the idea of dementia. I think its a little funny he wont embrace being called an old man, but he's tough like that.
She also mentioned at the time that he was very concerned that he was a burden to me and he sensed a big change was coming up career wise and that another move might be in the works. He didn't want to be a burden to me and while he didn't feel it was his time he was willing to move on.
This really shocked me. At the time there was a possible move to Texas and I was concerned about being able to find a good vet and a trainer who would work with us, but I was only concerned in the sense that I want to provide these things for him and I worry about the stress of the move on him, not that he's a burden. That made me so sad he'd think that. So I of course had her explain that I was just worried about finding these things for him, but a move would mean our own house and a big backyard for him.
This exchange alone I feel like has made us both feel better. Its hard to tell, Chingu is so sensitive to my feelings and he always has been. Even when he's being bratty he'll still take a moment out to make sure I'm ok. In Korea sometimes I'd get so stressed out and he'd be going crazy over squirrels on our walks and almost dislocating my arm but he'd always take a moment, rest his head on my knee until I calmed down, and then go back to doing what he wanted. So maybe its just that I feel better he feels better.
Anyways I wont share everything the animal communicator said but basically just that its not his time yet, but he does get confused and at the time of the bite he said he knew it was me but also someone else who was scarier. He also said sometimes he's scared of himself and he knows that I love him but sometimes its hard to remember.
He mentioned that he had another owner, a man who he tried to help be a better person but was unable to succeed and he was OK with that. Then he said he found me and we helped each other and that I saved his life. He said that with me he had the life he'd always wanted and he felt he'd been incarnated specifically to live his life with me. That the move to America had been hard but it was right for the both of us.
So people can believe what they want about animal communicators or animal psychics and I'm sure there are quacks out there, but I would say if you're at the end of your rope with an animal its an option worth exploring. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it or if I'd believe it but for me personally the experience felt authentic and at the end of the day thats all that matters. If nothing else its seemed to improve the communication between Chingu and I and strengthened our bond.
Either way the vet is pretty sure he's got some sort of degenerative neurological disorder. We put him on prozac which is helping but his coordination has started to go and he gets lost sometimes. Its hard to watch and in many ways its so unfair. He's worked so hard and had such a tough road. It sucks that now he's finally getting to a safe place he's losing control over his mind.
I know that eventually he'll be to unsafe to keep and Chingu said he knows he might be too far gone to know when that is, but he trusts me to make that decision. Now that I'm aware of his problems though I can be sensitive to whats going on and I think we have more time left but I'm not sure how much time that is. I'm just going to try and ensure that whatever amount we have left we make the most of it.
But back to the move part. Right after this I got a call from Texas asking for an interview and just boom, boom, boom I got the job. Its funny because I applied for this back in April and it all moved so slow, but once this one big worry was resolved it all worked out. The move will be hard but its whats right for us. Chingu and I will have our own space again but this time he'll have a big yard. I'm not sure we can find a trainer but maybe he's put in his time. He's to a point now where I can continue without a trainer and I know I can always call Gina for help. So for now my little Jindo who could will continue to chug along as we move to Texas.
So anyways she basically just confirmed all the things the vet said (she had all this info typed out and knew nothing about the vet visit) and while Chingu is resistant to the idea of being an old man he's not resistant to the idea of dementia. I think its a little funny he wont embrace being called an old man, but he's tough like that.
She also mentioned at the time that he was very concerned that he was a burden to me and he sensed a big change was coming up career wise and that another move might be in the works. He didn't want to be a burden to me and while he didn't feel it was his time he was willing to move on.
This really shocked me. At the time there was a possible move to Texas and I was concerned about being able to find a good vet and a trainer who would work with us, but I was only concerned in the sense that I want to provide these things for him and I worry about the stress of the move on him, not that he's a burden. That made me so sad he'd think that. So I of course had her explain that I was just worried about finding these things for him, but a move would mean our own house and a big backyard for him.
This exchange alone I feel like has made us both feel better. Its hard to tell, Chingu is so sensitive to my feelings and he always has been. Even when he's being bratty he'll still take a moment out to make sure I'm ok. In Korea sometimes I'd get so stressed out and he'd be going crazy over squirrels on our walks and almost dislocating my arm but he'd always take a moment, rest his head on my knee until I calmed down, and then go back to doing what he wanted. So maybe its just that I feel better he feels better.
Anyways I wont share everything the animal communicator said but basically just that its not his time yet, but he does get confused and at the time of the bite he said he knew it was me but also someone else who was scarier. He also said sometimes he's scared of himself and he knows that I love him but sometimes its hard to remember.
He mentioned that he had another owner, a man who he tried to help be a better person but was unable to succeed and he was OK with that. Then he said he found me and we helped each other and that I saved his life. He said that with me he had the life he'd always wanted and he felt he'd been incarnated specifically to live his life with me. That the move to America had been hard but it was right for the both of us.
So people can believe what they want about animal communicators or animal psychics and I'm sure there are quacks out there, but I would say if you're at the end of your rope with an animal its an option worth exploring. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it or if I'd believe it but for me personally the experience felt authentic and at the end of the day thats all that matters. If nothing else its seemed to improve the communication between Chingu and I and strengthened our bond.
Either way the vet is pretty sure he's got some sort of degenerative neurological disorder. We put him on prozac which is helping but his coordination has started to go and he gets lost sometimes. Its hard to watch and in many ways its so unfair. He's worked so hard and had such a tough road. It sucks that now he's finally getting to a safe place he's losing control over his mind.
I know that eventually he'll be to unsafe to keep and Chingu said he knows he might be too far gone to know when that is, but he trusts me to make that decision. Now that I'm aware of his problems though I can be sensitive to whats going on and I think we have more time left but I'm not sure how much time that is. I'm just going to try and ensure that whatever amount we have left we make the most of it.
But back to the move part. Right after this I got a call from Texas asking for an interview and just boom, boom, boom I got the job. Its funny because I applied for this back in April and it all moved so slow, but once this one big worry was resolved it all worked out. The move will be hard but its whats right for us. Chingu and I will have our own space again but this time he'll have a big yard. I'm not sure we can find a trainer but maybe he's put in his time. He's to a point now where I can continue without a trainer and I know I can always call Gina for help. So for now my little Jindo who could will continue to chug along as we move to Texas.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Hitting a Wall
So something terrible happened this Memorial Day weekend and Chingu bit me. It wasn't a nip or a small bite, but rather a succession of bites and they were hard enough to break skin, leave teeth marks, and draw blood. All I was doing was petting him and he attacked.
Lately he's been out of sorts and maybe I should have seen this coming. His eye sight and hearing seem to have become progressively worse, and he's more aggressive with food. He also sometimes has a look in his eyes that is vacant: the lights are on but no one is home.
I've been reading about canine dementia and its possible he might be experiencing this. He does sometimes get lost in doors, the bite indicates maybe he didn't recognize me, he's more on edge and agitated, and he will randomly bark for no reason at all. I'll discuss this all with the vet this next week, but I feel the end is near and it saddens me.
I'm not mad at Chingu and after the attack he seemed fine with me, although later he seemed frightened of me for some time. Rather it makes me sad that we've come this far and its come to this. I know he's old but no one knows how old.
We're going to do a full medical work up next week at the vet's and see whats up. We're also going to try an animal communicator. I know thats a little hokey but I'll try anything and everything to try and reach out to my little Jindo. He's the little Jindo that could and maybe he's now telling me he's the little Jindo that can't.
Talking to Gina our trainer tonight Chingu is trying to communicate something. Either he's been pushed too far in training and I need to back off and maybe we can get him some prozac to help him take off that edge, or maybe his time has come and he's trying to tell me that too.
I always felt able to help him because I felt safe around him and now I'm not so sure. Maybe he knows thats the line he can't cross and he crossed it because he has something to say.
As I contemplate what this means and what it would mean to put him down I can't help but feel that I've been a failure in this. I know I've tried hard but of course unless you succeed you may feel you didn't try hard enough. But I think I'm being unfair. I'm being unfair to Chingu. He has been a success. He has been a wonderful success who has helped me with many things. He has brought so much joy and happiness into my life and done so much for me and that should be remembered and honored. He has also come so far and worked so hard and that shouldn't be discarded either.
We have some hard decisions to make in the coming weeks and I fear that I know what I must do, but the important thing that in all of this I honor Chingu. I do whats best for him and if he's in pain and hurting then I have to let him go. I keep hoping that the problem is fixable but maybe we've gone as far as we can go and our journey is coming to a close. I hope that it isn't, but I feel the old man might be saying good bye in the best way he can.
Lately he's been out of sorts and maybe I should have seen this coming. His eye sight and hearing seem to have become progressively worse, and he's more aggressive with food. He also sometimes has a look in his eyes that is vacant: the lights are on but no one is home.
I've been reading about canine dementia and its possible he might be experiencing this. He does sometimes get lost in doors, the bite indicates maybe he didn't recognize me, he's more on edge and agitated, and he will randomly bark for no reason at all. I'll discuss this all with the vet this next week, but I feel the end is near and it saddens me.
I'm not mad at Chingu and after the attack he seemed fine with me, although later he seemed frightened of me for some time. Rather it makes me sad that we've come this far and its come to this. I know he's old but no one knows how old.
We're going to do a full medical work up next week at the vet's and see whats up. We're also going to try an animal communicator. I know thats a little hokey but I'll try anything and everything to try and reach out to my little Jindo. He's the little Jindo that could and maybe he's now telling me he's the little Jindo that can't.
Talking to Gina our trainer tonight Chingu is trying to communicate something. Either he's been pushed too far in training and I need to back off and maybe we can get him some prozac to help him take off that edge, or maybe his time has come and he's trying to tell me that too.
I always felt able to help him because I felt safe around him and now I'm not so sure. Maybe he knows thats the line he can't cross and he crossed it because he has something to say.
As I contemplate what this means and what it would mean to put him down I can't help but feel that I've been a failure in this. I know I've tried hard but of course unless you succeed you may feel you didn't try hard enough. But I think I'm being unfair. I'm being unfair to Chingu. He has been a success. He has been a wonderful success who has helped me with many things. He has brought so much joy and happiness into my life and done so much for me and that should be remembered and honored. He has also come so far and worked so hard and that shouldn't be discarded either.
We have some hard decisions to make in the coming weeks and I fear that I know what I must do, but the important thing that in all of this I honor Chingu. I do whats best for him and if he's in pain and hurting then I have to let him go. I keep hoping that the problem is fixable but maybe we've gone as far as we can go and our journey is coming to a close. I hope that it isn't, but I feel the old man might be saying good bye in the best way he can.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Rescued
So I found this on the website for the West Texas Chow Rescue page and I thought it was really sweet. We often say this dog is a "rescue" or I "rescued" him/her, but its not just the dog thats 'rescued' but also the person as well. Chingu wasn't the only one rescued in our story because he also rescued me so I guess we were both rescued.
Anyways I thought it was just a very sweet sentiment:
Anyways I thought it was just a very sweet sentiment:
I rescued a human today.
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels.
I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.
I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid.
As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage.
I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today.
Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.
As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past.
I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life.
She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me.
I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her.
Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship.
A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.
Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.
I would promise to keep her safe
I would promise to always be by her side.
I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.
I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor.
So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors.
So many more to be saved.
At least I could save one.
I rescued a human today.
Author Unknown
Sunday, May 02, 2010
The Little Jindo Who Could
So Chingu continues to make progress and I'm just so pleased with him. You can tell in training he just tries so hard. He doesn't always want to participate and he'll hide behind me, but once we're in it you can tell its work. But its work that he works really hard at and he gets better and better every time.
My parents have even felt comfortable enough to allow him to run around the house, sans muzzle, while I'm away at work. I've also started introducing him to new people and he's handled it beautifully. We haven't had a single incident of snapping, growling, or attempted biting.
In group class everyone takes turns petting him (while I of course stuff his face with hot dogs) and he's handled it like a champ. Also the other day he was turned away from this guy who couldn't see his muzzle, and before I could stop him the guy just reached down and touched Chingu on his back (he's not a fan of his body being touched) and Chingu didn't react at all. For him that's huge.
So we just keep chugging along and hopefully one day we'll be able to go out and about without a muzzle. One day I think we can, although thats still a long time away. But we keep practicing and trying new things and he just keeps chugging along like the little engine that could. In fact I was so pleased with how he's been handling the new surroundings and people we've been trying out I took him to a pet store this week!
I never thought we'd be able to go to a pet store but we did and he rocked it. We didn't stay long because there were cats and juggling him, a bag of dog food, and dodging cats could have been tricky. But he was well behaved and all the staff oohed and ahhed over him at a nice and respectful distance. Next time we'll hang out longer and I'll probably let him pick out a toy (cause sometimes I like to spoil him).
Also Gina said we didn't need to go to private lessons anymore unless we wanted to and while I've decided to stick with it for now its nice to know its no longer critical. I feel like though I really want to reinforce and keep doing what we're doing for at least another couple months.
But you look at him and he's so happy now. What I think I love most about Chingu is the big smile he always seems to have on his face, and even though he's pissed when he has to wear that muzzle, the moment its off he's just so happy and smiling. Its so great to watch him be pet by other people and even enjoy it sometimes. I'm so happy for him that he can learning that being pet by others can be enjoyable and I think group classes have been great for him to just be able to watch other dogs and people interact.
Of course we still have to continue with the training and reinforcement but he's doing awesome and his resiliency is just so impressive to me. He's the little Jindo that could and every morning when I wake up and see that big Chingu grin on his face and watch him do his 'happy sneezes' he does because he knows we're about to go on our walk I know that it was all worth it.
My parents have even felt comfortable enough to allow him to run around the house, sans muzzle, while I'm away at work. I've also started introducing him to new people and he's handled it beautifully. We haven't had a single incident of snapping, growling, or attempted biting.
In group class everyone takes turns petting him (while I of course stuff his face with hot dogs) and he's handled it like a champ. Also the other day he was turned away from this guy who couldn't see his muzzle, and before I could stop him the guy just reached down and touched Chingu on his back (he's not a fan of his body being touched) and Chingu didn't react at all. For him that's huge.
So we just keep chugging along and hopefully one day we'll be able to go out and about without a muzzle. One day I think we can, although thats still a long time away. But we keep practicing and trying new things and he just keeps chugging along like the little engine that could. In fact I was so pleased with how he's been handling the new surroundings and people we've been trying out I took him to a pet store this week!
I never thought we'd be able to go to a pet store but we did and he rocked it. We didn't stay long because there were cats and juggling him, a bag of dog food, and dodging cats could have been tricky. But he was well behaved and all the staff oohed and ahhed over him at a nice and respectful distance. Next time we'll hang out longer and I'll probably let him pick out a toy (cause sometimes I like to spoil him).
Also Gina said we didn't need to go to private lessons anymore unless we wanted to and while I've decided to stick with it for now its nice to know its no longer critical. I feel like though I really want to reinforce and keep doing what we're doing for at least another couple months.
But you look at him and he's so happy now. What I think I love most about Chingu is the big smile he always seems to have on his face, and even though he's pissed when he has to wear that muzzle, the moment its off he's just so happy and smiling. Its so great to watch him be pet by other people and even enjoy it sometimes. I'm so happy for him that he can learning that being pet by others can be enjoyable and I think group classes have been great for him to just be able to watch other dogs and people interact.
Of course we still have to continue with the training and reinforcement but he's doing awesome and his resiliency is just so impressive to me. He's the little Jindo that could and every morning when I wake up and see that big Chingu grin on his face and watch him do his 'happy sneezes' he does because he knows we're about to go on our walk I know that it was all worth it.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Chingu Update
I suppose its been awhile since I've written an update about Chingu's progress and its time. Chingu continues to impress me with how much he can learn and accept. It still just blows me away when I think of where we were and where we are.
Now we not only attend group classes as observers but actual participants! That is so exciting. I remember when Gina first mentioned group classes and how important they would be for him and I wanted to ask, "lady are you smoking crack? This dog will never be able to attend group classes." But he attends and participates and thus far we've been pretty incident free. He did growl at one dog but thats OK. Like Gina said he has a right to his personal space and a right to voice that its being invaded so he can growl, but he doesn't have a right to bite. So growls and moving away are fine but snaps and bites need to be corrected.
Also whenever we go to private class he always gets really cuddly in his attempt to avoid Gina. He's always a little crabby but then accepts her, but he knows she's gonna make him do stuff he doesn't want to do. But whats different is now rather than lashing out at her (although it still definitely happens) he comes to me first and looks to me for protection. I love this. I love that he has started to view me as his protector and he's starting to realize if he doesn't like something he doesn't need to go all Cujo on someone but rather he can hide behind me and I'll be his bodyguard.
He's just come so far and there's still a long way to go. I still need him to not tense up if someone approaches and touches him but he's at a point now thats completely manageable and if we never move past this point right now thats OK. Where we are now is a place I can live with and work around so anything past this point is just icing on the cake and thats just nice to know that we're there. It will be a lifetime of constant reinforcement and now the new rule for all his food and treats is going to be he has to be touched and then he can have a bit of kibble or hot dog which will be good for him I think. But the point is if we can stay where we are or go further without backsliding then we'll be OK and thats a huge relief.
I'm also much more relaxed now with him and in public which I'm sure makes a huge difference. Its so hard when you have a reactive/aggressive dog to be relaxed and you can never completely be relaxed. At least I don't think I can be. On walks I'm always scanning ahead, watching for potential hazards such as loose dogs or small children, and anticipating our next move and checking for escape routes. But if we were to encounter say a loose dog now I'd be less afraid than I would have been a month ago.
I just really admire that he's been able to pull through this and I'm not sure I'll ever find anything as rewarding as what I've found in working with Ching. I often reflect on my time in South Korea which, to be honest, I didn't really enjoy that much. I hated my job, didn't really like the town I was living in, and sometimes I think my time would have been better served living in a different country or staying home in the US; but I think finding Chingu and Chingu finding me made it all worth it. Even if that was the only reason I was supposed to be there I think we were meant for each other. He is my pride and joy and I can honestly say my life is better for being given the opportunity to be his human mom.
Now we not only attend group classes as observers but actual participants! That is so exciting. I remember when Gina first mentioned group classes and how important they would be for him and I wanted to ask, "lady are you smoking crack? This dog will never be able to attend group classes." But he attends and participates and thus far we've been pretty incident free. He did growl at one dog but thats OK. Like Gina said he has a right to his personal space and a right to voice that its being invaded so he can growl, but he doesn't have a right to bite. So growls and moving away are fine but snaps and bites need to be corrected.
Also whenever we go to private class he always gets really cuddly in his attempt to avoid Gina. He's always a little crabby but then accepts her, but he knows she's gonna make him do stuff he doesn't want to do. But whats different is now rather than lashing out at her (although it still definitely happens) he comes to me first and looks to me for protection. I love this. I love that he has started to view me as his protector and he's starting to realize if he doesn't like something he doesn't need to go all Cujo on someone but rather he can hide behind me and I'll be his bodyguard.
He's just come so far and there's still a long way to go. I still need him to not tense up if someone approaches and touches him but he's at a point now thats completely manageable and if we never move past this point right now thats OK. Where we are now is a place I can live with and work around so anything past this point is just icing on the cake and thats just nice to know that we're there. It will be a lifetime of constant reinforcement and now the new rule for all his food and treats is going to be he has to be touched and then he can have a bit of kibble or hot dog which will be good for him I think. But the point is if we can stay where we are or go further without backsliding then we'll be OK and thats a huge relief.
I'm also much more relaxed now with him and in public which I'm sure makes a huge difference. Its so hard when you have a reactive/aggressive dog to be relaxed and you can never completely be relaxed. At least I don't think I can be. On walks I'm always scanning ahead, watching for potential hazards such as loose dogs or small children, and anticipating our next move and checking for escape routes. But if we were to encounter say a loose dog now I'd be less afraid than I would have been a month ago.
I just really admire that he's been able to pull through this and I'm not sure I'll ever find anything as rewarding as what I've found in working with Ching. I often reflect on my time in South Korea which, to be honest, I didn't really enjoy that much. I hated my job, didn't really like the town I was living in, and sometimes I think my time would have been better served living in a different country or staying home in the US; but I think finding Chingu and Chingu finding me made it all worth it. Even if that was the only reason I was supposed to be there I think we were meant for each other. He is my pride and joy and I can honestly say my life is better for being given the opportunity to be his human mom.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Pictures from Training
This is how it started. First he was actually nice for a little bit but he is not a fan of small dogs. They just look like prey to him. Although he was at least nice in the beginning....
Then we had a moment in which Chingu was not so nice and he sent the weenie dog packing. Poor little guy.
Here he was less than thrilled to be held but he handled it and when it was all said and done he let Gina pet him for awhile and eventually rolled on his side although that wasn't pushed because he was pretty done after being picked up.
Chingu and the Germany Shepherd. He's kinda leaning away from him but thats cool because he just needs to be able to accept being near a dog but no biting the dog.
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